


It's not living (if it's not with you)

by a_sentimental_man



Series: it's not living (if it's not with you) [1]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sayu is a little shit, both L and Light are disasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21732079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_sentimental_man/pseuds/a_sentimental_man
Summary: Light Yagami was thirteen when it first happened.First, it was a slip of emotion–more of curiosity and wariness than anything else. The curiosity-only intensified when both realized what this foreign feeling was–their tentative soul bond, calling to each other.or;Where Light and L are soulmates who can share their thoughts and feelings with each other.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light, Yagami Sayu/Original Female Character(s)
Series: it's not living (if it's not with you) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566316
Comments: 14
Kudos: 362





	It's not living (if it's not with you)

Light Yagami was thirteen when it first happened.

First, it was a slip of emotion–more of curiosity and wariness than anything else. The curiosity-only intensified when both realized what this foreign feeling was–their tentative soul bond, calling to each other.

_ I take it you’re my soulmate?  _ A voice, undeniably smooth and too old for his age, had called out.

Light, as obnoxious as only an overly intelligent thirteen-year-old could be, scoffed.  _ Apparently,  _ he had sent back, sarcasm clear in his voice.

The voice, sensing his skepticism, had only laughed.

In that instant, they had both understood each other  _ perfectly. _

Light hadn’t understood the concept of soulmates before–the thought of someone who could understand him, not despite his intelligence,  _ because  _ of it, had been an abstract, foreign concept to him.

But with the foreign voice in his mind, somehow equally intelligent as his, he felt as if soulmates weren’t such a bad concept after all.

* * *

Light was fifteen, and Lawliet was eighteen when they made a game of it.

They had been talking sporadically, neither of them disposed to open up to people, but trying to attempt to lessen the unrelenting boredom that descended upon them, Light more than Lawliet.

_ We should  _ do  _ something,  _ Light had suggested offhandedly, helping his sister with her homework that she couldn’t manage. She still had a few months left until it was her time for her to hear the equal parts annoying and comforting voice in his head, assuring that they were never alone, no matter what. 

For her sake, he hoped the voice was male. His mother was already disappointed enough as it was, and he loved his sister too much to wish the same pain upon her.

Lawliet was quiet as his sister left his room, the tell-tale hum of his emotions alerting Light that he’d caught the gist of his thoughts.

Light buried his face in his hands. Sometimes.  _ Sometimes.  _ It was way too much.

He could feel the phantom feeling of a hug enveloping him, from someone awkward, not used to giving hugs, but giving it all the same.

Light exhaled a long breath, refusing to admit that he was comforted. Except: “Thanks,” he whispered aloud, almost forgetting that Lawliet was continents away.

_ Anytime,  _ Lawliet hummed, lingering embarrassment mixed with comfort, and that was all Light had wanted.

He could feel the awkward silence relaxing into a comfortable one, their lingering embarrassment fading away to be replaced with intimacy. Which, Light had thought he would never get, never having felt worthy of it, ever since he looked at a boy and thought Oh.  _ Oh.  _

But. Well. Lawliet happened. 

Lawliet broke the comfortable silence - and  _ of course, it was,  _ Light couldn't help but think with a fond smile and a certain fluttering in his chest: 

_ You're right, Light,  _ he said.  _ We  _ should  _ do something.  _

It took Light a second to realize what he was talking about, too lost in his thoughts to remember where he left the conversation with. 

_ And what do you suggest?  _ He said back, hating how almost…  _ flirty  _ his voice sounded. 

_ What do you think about us hunting criminals together?  _ L asked, and he was blunt as usual, but that didn't stop Light from having his breath-taken. 

_ Do you mean it?  _

_ Light… have I ever been less than honest with you?  _

_ Well, actually,  _ Light said, thinking of all the times when he'd asked for L's name, what he was doing, only to be met with silence, pretending it didn't hurt, and that Lawliet couldn't  _ feel  _ the hurt he was feeling.

It had been the first time he'd felt like blocking their bond, thinking it was more trouble than it was worth, that Light was better off without L, even though he couldn't imagine a life with _ out  _ him. 

Lawliet sighed through their bond.  _ You do not understand how sorry I am about that, Light-kun.  _

_ I do have an idea,  _ Light said back because he wasn't willing to forgive, not just yet. Nevermind the flutter in his chest at Lawliet addressing him so familiarly. 

_ Haha,  _ L's voice was as dry as the desert and twice as thorny.  _ So, what do you think? I know how bored you are at school.  _

_ Stop sounding as if you're trying to sell me drugs, Lawliet,  _ Light said, trying to repress his laughter so his parents didn't hear. He was willing to let it go, for now. And then: 'Of  _ course  _ I will, you know that.'

The resulting delight on L's end was bittersweet. 

* * *

Light was seventeen when he saw the Death Note. He couldn't resist picking up the seemingly unassuming notebook, a compulsion to  _ use it, see what it did  _ in his mind. 

And when he looked at the notebook and the rules contained within, he couldn't deny that he felt the tell-tale ring of  _ justicejusticejustice  _ in his ears, knowing no-one accused of a crime could get away with it, with this weapon - and no doubt about it, this was a  _ weapon -  _ in his hand. 

He reached for a pen with shaking hands - 

_ Light, what the fuck are you doing?!  _

He jerked back as if slapped, knocking the glass of water on his table to the floor, splattering water all over the book that would have made him a  _ God _ . Clarity returned to him in an instant, along with a bone-deep horror at what the book had almost made him do two seconds ago.

He could feel Lawliet trying to project comfort over at him, but nothing about this warranted  _ comfort,  _ this notebook that could either be a prank or the most dangerous book in the world. 

He lunged towards the notebook, determined to burn it until nothing was left except a pile of cinders when - 

He hid it in his drawer. 

_ What are you doing?  _ Lawliet's voice was wary, but not filled with the furious urgency that was there before. 

Light rolled his eyes.  _ I would burn it, but I know you too well for that.  _ He grinned shakily.  _ You just really want to see if there's any more and how it works, don't you?  _

He could feel, more than hear, L's huff of laughter this time.  _ Of course,  _ he said, in a tone of such wonderment that it made Light blush.  _ You know me too well.  _

_ Isn't that what soulmates are for?  _ He returned, trying to stop his heart from beating uncontrollably. 

* * *

Light was eighteen when the killings started. 

He had just been enrolled into To-Oh academy -  _ You know, I might come and pose as a student,  _ L had mused,  _ You  _ know  _ my mother would object to that,  _ Light had returned,  _ And Watari too, actually. _ \- when Light, dumbfounded as the rest of Japan, saw a criminal die of a heart attack on national television. 

_ Do you think it's the Death Note?  _ He asked though he was sure what Lawliet's answer would be. 

_ It's 50-50 for now, we must wait and see.  _

_ You know how much I hate waiting,  _ Light growled. Sayu, noticing that he was talking to his soulmate, didn't interrupt except to put a comforting hand on his shoulder as she went to wash her plate. 

Their mother was out grocery shopping and Soichiro was at work; something Light was grateful for, for once. 

'Are you talking to your  _ soulmate _ , Light?'

_ Scratch that.  _

He could hear the huff of laughter L exhaled at his predicament, feeling Light's embarrassment all too clearly through their bond. 

'And what does it matter to you?' he asked, trying to remain calm. It had been two years since Light had told his sister the identity of his soulmate, and he hadn't gotten used to her casual acceptance of  _ who  _ he was and the fact that his soulmate was male. 

That her soulmate was female probably went a long way, to be fair. 

'Nothing,' she said impishly. Then: 'I'm happy to see you being so happy, that's all,' she mumbled. 

Light didn't have any words for the warmth that lit him up at her acceptance, reaching out to crush his sister in a one-armed hug on the couch. Lawliet, for once, was silent, giving them their privacy, and Light was grateful. 

The Death Note could wait for now.

'How's it going with Aiko?' he asked softly, as she relaxed into the embrace. 

She positively beamed. Light smiled back. 

His sister wasn't the only one who was happy to see their sibling be happy. 

'She  _ amazing, _ ' she gushed. 'Do you know she's an artist, and her art is  _ so pretty- _ ' she suddenly cut herself off, blushing. 

'No, go on,' Light said, smiling. It didn't hurt to smile anymore. It hadn't for a while, in fact. 'I  **really** want to hear about this girlfriend of yours.'

' _ She's not my girlfriend! _ '

'Of course, she isn't -'

'You're one to talk, Mr. I've-been-in-love-with-my-oblivious-soulmate -'

The resulting embarrassment caused even L to enquire from whatever he was doing:  _ dare I ask? _

The reply was fervent:  _ please don't.  _

He glared at his sister as Lawliet went back to being a calming presence at the back of his mind, promising retribution. 

His sister sobered up at last. 'I'm sorry,' she said. 'Did he hear what I said?'

'No, he didn't,' he snapped back. Which was the worst thing to say, since he could  _ see  _ the shit-eating grin that lit up her face, at  _ that.  _

'He could feel your embarrassment, couldn't he?' she said, and Light  _ hated  _ how insightful she could be sometimes. 'I can't believe this, Light Yagami, my big brother, getting  _ embarrassed  _ over talking about his soulmate -'

His only reply was to walk away. 

* * *

It took only a week to confirm that the killings were someone's doing, and only two days to determine that it was someone from Japan. 

_ Looks like I must come to Japan, Light-kun.  _

_ Try to sound less gleeful, Lawliet,  _ Light sent back, unable to keep his giddiness in check. His soulmate was coming to  _ Japan. Twenty people  _ were  _ murdered.  _

_ But I'm seeing you,  _ and L's blunt honesty shouldn't affect him this way, but  _ oh,  _ it really did. 

_ And  _ I'm _ seeing  _ you _.  _

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos keep me going <3  
> this is a series, so pls subscribe to the series, and keep a lookout for the next one-shot if you want to!  
> follow me on or [tumblr!](https://a-sentimental-man.tumblr.com/)


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